For Those Who Grew Up Without Love

 

Love is the deepest spiritual longing of the human heart. In other words, the ultimate need of the human heart is to feel a sense of security.
Because the more deeply we are loved, the more secure we tend to feel. And the more secure one feels, the easier it is for one to reach beyond oneself, to love others, without manipulation.

The deep importance of the need for love lies in the fact that we were created in love and by love, and to live in love. God crafted the human from the core of His Being, from the very foundation of love. For God is love. He is the complete expression of love, the very fullness of love. And out of this fullness, you and I were created. That’s why the deep longing for love and affection exert such a powerful pull on us, that we will go to any length just to fulfill it. For instance, we can even feign sickness just to get attention. When I was a child, I used to do this, especially at those times I felt I wasn’t given enough attention, being the last born. And it always worked. My mum would let me sleep in her bed, cover me up and treat me to some special delicacies. ?
That’s how powerful a pull the longing for love exerts on us!

The great king David also came in touch with this powerful reality. He expressed it in such strong words. He said God’s unfailing love is better than life. (Psalm 63:3). That is, life itself isn’t a match for the knowledge that we are loved by God’s unfailing love. What’s life without love!

In Song of Solomon, this deep longing to feel loved and wanted and adored is again expressed in such beautiful poetic words:

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”

(Song of Solomon 8:6, NIV)

Paul the apostle also identified love as the greatest human need, when he said,
“But earnestly desire and zealously cultivate the greatest and best gifts and graces (the higher gifts and the choicest graces). And yet I will show you a still more excellent way [one that is better by far and the highest of them all—love].”
(1Corinthians 12:31, AMP)

In 1Corinthians 13:13, he said that love is the greatest of eternal realities, the greatest of human needs.

Hence, he advised the Corinthian church to make love – the receiving and giving of it – their great quest. They were to pursue love as though their lives depended on it – because they did. (1Corinthians14:1)

God’s original intent was that man, carved out from His perfect love, would live forever in His loving Presence and experience overwhelming security. Man’s heart was designed to live in love, and to operate in security.
Since God created us and shaped our hearts for love, we are born with a great need to feel loved and accepted, to feel cherished and valued. And to the degree this need goes unsatisfied, we will experience insecurities in our lives. It is a scientific fact that babies who are not given loving touch in the first few months of their lives can become physically and emotionally damaged. Those children grow up with a love-deficit in their heart, and are prone to all kinds of personality defects, such as addictive disorders, rejection syndrome and the likes. I need to say here that, while human love is needed to help the soul flourish and function well, it’s not enough to satisfy the deep-heart longing for love and affection. Only God’s love can completely fulfill that strong desire. To help you, I would like to recommend my book, I LOVE YOU. You can purchase it on the website’s Shop.

Maybe you didn’t experience what it means to be loved and accepted when you were growing up. It’s true there wasn’t much you could do to help yourself. However, you are grown now; there’s something you can do. You can forgive those who deprived you of love. And you can open your heart to the flood of God’s boundless, infinitely intimate and unconditional love for you.

God loved you before you were born. He loved you from eternity. And He isn’t about to stop loving you now. He loves you, not because of anything you have done or haven’t done. He loves you because it’s His nature to love, and He chose to love you. And there is nothing you can do to make Him love you any less or any more than He already loves you. For He loves you with everything He’s got. He gave up His Son for you. There ain’t greater love!

Believing God’s perfect love for you, accepting what Christ has done for you on the cross, is the beginning of your journey to wholeness. God’s perfect love in your heart has the ability to heal every emotional wounds, satisfy your heart’s deepest longing for affection and stump out all insecurities. Who knows this truth more than the apostle whom Jesus loved!
He said,
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
(1John4:18, ESV)

You know that you have received God’s love in your heart when your fears and insecurities are giving way. And you’re giving love, not to get it back, but because you know that you have been lavishly loved by God Himself. You love from a secure position. And you accept and value others because you know that God has accepted you unconditionally and valued highly.

It’s my prayer that God’s love and acceptance will become more real to you than ever before. And may it heal the loneliness, the deprivation, and abandonment. In Jesus Name.