The Fear Of Intimacy

The fear of intimacy is one of the very real fears that attack the human heart.

The Creator decided to put within everyone a deep-seated, and overwhelming desire for intimacy. Everyone longs to love and be loved. Everyone craves for a relationship of some sort; we just want to feel connected or belonging. And almost as strong as the overwhelming desire to love and be loved is, the fear of intimacy. The fear of intimacy manifests itself in two basic ways. It may come as the fear of heartbreak or being jilted. And the fear of getting too close than it’s convenient for you; the fear of being trapped in a relationship.

Lots of people are plagued by the fear of being let down or being left in a relationship, especially if they had suffered that before. You know, the thought of going into another relationship that may brake their hearts again can be scary. For me, my greatest fear was that of getting too close for convince. I had loved being independent. And my sense of independence got such a strong grip on me, that I feared that if I got into a serious relationship, I might lose it. And that, for me, was like losing myself. I feared that I would always have to explain what I was doing, where I was and all that. For me, that’s losing my independence. That felt like a trap. And that I dreaded.

While those fears may make you feel like you’re on the safe side – safe from the hurt of heartbreak and safe from being choked – they also keep you from experiencing the joy and the thrill of lovingly intimate relationships. These fears stand in the way of intimacy. They hold you back from pouring the best of yourself into your relationship. Consequently, they also stop you from enjoying the richness of the relationship.

If you must unlock the treasure locked up in any relationship, you must be willing to be vulnerable. As a matter of fact, going into a relationship opens you up to the possibilities of being left and loss of independence. However, you can’t live your life based on your fears. You could either choose to let fear drive your relationship or let faith do the driving.
For me, I knew I had a decision to make, a fear to conquer. And I needed to do it as quickly as it’s possible. Usually, when I face a situation, almost always, the first thing I do is turn to God. Because I know that left on my own, I can so mess things up. ?
So I turned to my Bible. I saw verses like, “He who finds a wife has found a good thing, and has obtained favor from the Lord.”
OK, so a serious relationship that would lead to marriage didn’t look like a curse!
It’s a blessing.
And “the blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow.”
It’s getting better. My mind was greatly beginning to shift. I was gaining a new perspective, a brand new way of seeing my relationship. And along with it, my fear of being trapped in a relationship was gradually giving way.
Then I came to a verse like, “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”
I felt good, because I could trust Him, to guide my choice. I really needed His help. So I asked for it. And I received it!
Today, my wife and I are the best of friends. I love spending lots of time with her. Can’t seem to have enough! ?

You can choose to let God’s Word change your thinking, to overwrite your fears today, and experience the abundant life He came to give in your relationship or you could choose to hold tightly to your fears and also miss out on loving, intimate relationship.
Choose the former.

With much Love.